This post contains affiliate links. If you use these links to buy something I may earn a commission. Thanks for supporting me!

I recently completed 30 years of being alive, hooray. I celebrated by surprising my mother with a generous gift that morning. The way I see it, the day means more to her than it ever will to me (and she did do all the heavy lifting). My birthday happens to be at the end of the year, a time when most people have retreated indoors to wait out the longer nights. It’s a time that naturally lends itself to reflecting inward. Every December I too find myself taking stock by thumbing through memories of the past year, putting a spotlight on what I’m proud of, how fortunate I am, and who I’m grateful for having in my life. There’s a tiny bit of the opposite but for the most part life’s been great, each year better than the last.

I allowed myself to indulge in the significance of the number 30 by broadening my scope of reflection; I thought it’d be fun to document the thirty best things that have happened to me throughout the course of my life. It’s an exercise to remind myself why I am the way I am. I’m quite good at documenting important moments to appreciate later (that’s the whole point of this site), but some moments of significance get lost as they don’t lend themselves to being told in photographs. I’ll try and capture them here in no particular order.

OPPORTUNITIES

#1 - I picked up a camera: I don’t remember the first photo I took that I was proud of, but it was probably at a concert. In my early 20s I was averaging three or four shows a month. I loved being at the very front, close enough to see beads of sweat from artists pouring themselves out. I loved the energy of the crowd behind me, seeing the performers feed off that wave, and have them throw it right back at us. I wanted to capture that mood, so I began bringing my camera. It was a boot camp in learning how to adjust the knobs and dials quickly in order to keep up. I also started to pay attention to subtleties in body movement and positioning, the angles and colors of lighting, and how the arc of the crowd’s energy rose and fell with every song. Several years later, when I’d go on hikes in the outdoors, I brought my camera with me too. I used it as a means for telling a story, capturing a mood, and inspiring my friends and myself. Just as I had seen the stage with new eyes, I also saw adventures in the outdoors differently. I paid attention to the nuances in shapes made by sunlight and shade, the texture of tree bark, and ripples in water.

#2 - I started to write: In college, I was searching for an identity. I wasn’t sure who I was or wanted to be. Truthfully, I was trying to fill out an online dating profile. When asked to describe myself, I froze, unable to describe what was special about me. I logged out and promised myself I’d return when I had something to say. Fast forward a few months later: I have a food blog where I documented every restaurant I visited, sharing the history of different cuisines and discovering the unique beat of the city’s many neighborhoods. As I became more comfortable with my writing, I began talking to restaurant owners and servers to learn about what made them special. Whenever I had the opportunity to go deeper, the food always tasted better. I’ve since applied that same mindset to travel as well. After nearly 300 reviews over three years, I shut down my site. It just wasn’t fun anymore. What I carried forward though was the joy of storytelling; that’s what I loved most about the food blogging. It wasn’t the recommendations to eat this and not that; it was capturing on a page what made that Nepalese restaurant’s soup unlike anything I had ever tasted (that family went to Nepal twice a year to source herbs from their farm). When I started to have my own stories from exploring the outdoors, it was only natural that I’d make site to host it. Fortunately for me, rajahamid.com wasn’t taken yet.

#3 - Coming to terms with creativity: I firmly believe that all forms of creative work carry some level of insecurity. As true as it may be that I do it for personal fulfillment, the praise and rejection of others has an impact on how I feel at the end of the day. Sometimes it happens in a big way, sometimes in a small way. To protect my ego, for years I was fond of believing that my photographs and stories were simply me documenting of what I saw and nothing more. None of it was art; I was merely reporting, not adding any part of myself to the work. Any beauty attributed to it was just a consequence of pointing my camera at something or someone beautiful. This obviously muzzled any creative instincts I may have had. At the end of 2019, I got a random message from Gestalten, an international publishing house based in Germany. They were interested in featuring six of my photographs in an upcoming book highlighting iconic trails in the US. I was both flattered and surprised. I hadn’t ever considered my pictures to be worthy of publishing, but here was an authority telling me otherwise. I was paid for my work for the first time. After that, I stopped a lifetime of denying that I was a creative person. If you’re interested in the book it’s Wanderlust USA. It does make a great gift.

#4 - Working the startup life: It was absurd to my parents that I’d be throwing away a stellar LSAT score to continue working for a company that paid half what my peers made wearing suits. Years earlier, while still a junior in college, I started an hourly data entry gig for Citymaps. I quickly fell in love with the team and fit right into the culture; eventually I’d play a key role in shaping the culture as employee #5. While sometimes I daydreamed about us getting acquired, I was under no delusions that it could happen. After six years Tripadvisor did scoop us up, but that’s not why I’ve added this to the list. Those six years were the toughest of my career, shouldering tons of responsibility, feeling the constant pressure to innovate or die, and thinking about our product nearly every waking moment (and often in my dreams). I thrived in the pressure. It was also the most fun I may ever have at a job, and we all knew it. As challenging as the work was, we were all in the trenches trying to make something out of nothing. I recently read Shoe Dog, a memoir by Phil Knight about the founding of Nike. I was able to relate to the chaotic journey to success with its unexpected peaks and crushing lows, deep friendships, and countless sacrifices. It was the ride of a lifetime.

#5 - Having incredible mentors: Working at Citymaps meant a lot of learning on the fly. I was often given remits that far exceeded my experience. The two co-founders put a tremendous amount of trust in me. Despite my lack of credentials, they saw something in me that gave me the confidence to perform my best. I developed a close relationship with both Aaron and Elliot, and I looked to them like older brothers. I learned a lot about management from them and the benefits of empowering the people around you to, allowing them to fail by not creating a culture of fear to drive success. They would look out for me at every turn: whether it was advocating for me at Tripadvisor, counseling me on a personal level, or supporting my ambitions even when it came at their loss. We no longer work together but still keep in touch and sometimes joke about getting the band back together. Today, I try and model my mentoring after theirs. They’ve given me so much and I’d like to try and pass that along.

#6 - Traveling alone: There’s a unique feeling I get whenever I’m traveling solo. In my gut there’s a mix of excitement, anticipation, empowerment, and loneliness. I think most people experience that when they leave home for college. I went to college in NYC and commuted from home, so my first trip to Paris was when I got a taste of that experience. I did have a cadre of friends who I was visiting so it was a baby step, but I was hooked on the feeling. I took a big leap by going to Bali, packing everything for a week into a tiny backpack. While the trip had it’s stresses (I lost my credit cards immediately), I learned about how friendly locals and travelers could be if I was willing to set aside my shyness. Being alone forced me to talk to new people and helped me realize that there was a whole world to explore if I was willing to put myself out there.

#7 - Citymaps is acquired: I’m not sure how sustainable the 60hr+ work weeks at Citymaps would have been. After six years, that came to an end when I joined Tripadvisor via acquisition. The co-founders ensured that we’d be taken care of in our new roles. I finally was getting a taste of the corporate life; we could all take our foot off the gas, kick back, and savor in the work perks. Being at a big company did help me with my growth though: I had access to a massive pool of talent for inspiration, I was given formal training in product management, and I was challenged on new skills that I hadn’t developed with a small team. On a personal level, being at Tripadvisor meant that I finally had the capacity to travel and really discover what my passions were.

#8 - Inspiration in Patagonia: After the acquisition, Aaron challenged me to use up my remaining vacation days by the end of the year, which had accrued substantially since I hadn’t been keen on taking time off. I decided on a whim to backpack solo around Chile and Argentina for two weeks. It would be my longest time away from home and I also had never slept in a tent. Similar to my time in Bali, every day was exhilarating and held the promise of new friends and stories unlike anything I had ever experienced before. What I remember most is my first sighting of Fitz Roy, an iconic massif in Argentinian Patagonia. I clearly remember the feeling of turning the corner and laying eyes on it for the first time. My shoulders were sore from a heavy pack digging into my muscles for ten straight days, but I forgot all about that for a brief moment. On sight, I made a promise to learn how to climb on rock and ice so that I could someday feel what movement on that mountain would be like. I was terrified of heights, but I was determined to at least try.

#9 - Learning the ropes with AAI: Not long after I returned home from Patagonia, I began looking for ways to build knowledge and skills. I signed up for two weeks in the North Cascades with the American Alpine Institute. It was a crash course in the kind of climbing that inspired me: remote, big, and beautiful. In addition to making some amazing friends like Luke, I learned that with enough practice and diligence, it was within reach for me to have the kinds of adventures the people in TV and magazines were having. Growing up poor in a big city (where I truly thought of Central Park as remote wilderness), I saw big mountain experiences as something that I had to grow up in. It seems silly now looking back, but I didn’t see anyone like me in the outdoors; I assumed it was something I wasn’t and would never be cut out for. Now, recreating in the outdoors is a core part of my identity.

#10 - Indulging in Japan: A few friends mentioned to me they’d be going to Tokyo for New Years Eve and extended an invite. I knew at least one of them spoke some Japanese, so I figured this would be a great opportunity to experience the city. Ultimately, we grew to ten people filling an Airbnb to the brim wreaking gaijin havoc on Tokyo. What I’ll never forget about that trip is how incredible the food was and how devoted the chefs were to pursuing mastery in their craft, no matter how simple or pedestrian their domain. I planned an itinerary for every meal each day where we’d experience the best of every type of food I could think of, from heaps of uni on a warm beds of rice to sampling regional varieties of ramen bowls. David Chang said he knew he knocked it out of the park when everyone at a table would shut up after their first bite. We were all silent for every single meal. Sometimes I tell Leah about that trip in a wistful tone and a dreamy gaze. Maybe I’ll take her with me someday.

#11 - Having the privilege to mentor: I get a ton of joy from being able to share my experience with colleagues. My career has spanned 10 years as of this writing (I started full-time in college) and has given me a unique perspective. Being able to share learnings with my direct reports at work is extremely satisfying. Some days I learn just as much from them as they do from me.

HEALTH & HABITS

#12 - Becoming financially responsible: My family had little when I was growing up, and my first year’s startup salary was already more than my father’s best year. Although I was raised to be thrifty, I assumed that as long as I spent within the bounds of a paycheck I’d be safe. With every raise I got though, I spent more on gadgets, restaurants, travel, and the like. I was in the classic trap of lifestyle inflation. I saw no point in saving as I figured I’d always have a job. Only after my friend Ranadeb introduced me to a financial advisor four years ago did I finally begin saving money and cutting my expenses. I did it mostly out of embarrassment for not having any savings. Life certainly became a lot less fun in the traditional sense, but I found other ways to spend my time that were more fulfilling than trying a new beer with every meal. Only this year did I finally ditch my financial advisor after spending a few weeks getting savvy with how to invest on my own.

#13 - Finding a reason for fitness: Vanity is a powerful motivator to exercise but I never found it to be very sustainable after I was a teenager. I later tried motivating myself with the vague goal of being healthy, but it was never a compelling reason to lace up and run in the winter. I finally found a purpose for it all when I realized that the more fit I was, the more interesting my adventures in the outdoors could be. I could go further, faster, and add a margin of safety for myself in remote areas. Unfortunately, I was never inspired by competition. Instead, the drive to explore is what pushes me to rise early and stick to a training plan. Nothing excites me more than the “what if” game that I play with myself: what if I solo hiked the 30mi Pemi Loop in a day? what if I rode 130mi on my mountain bike in a day?

#14 - Cutting out coffee: During my food blogging days, I took pride in my deep appreciation of coffee culture. I loved the taste, the ritual, and especially the smell. In my mid-20s I started noticing friends and co-workers insisting they couldn’t function without several cups a day given their ever-growing tolerance. I found all that dependence repulsive and shuddered at the thought of becoming reliant on a drug to feel like a complete human. After a challenging month of going cold turkey, I began to wake up with a clear head naturally and never looked back. These days, I use caffeine like a PED. In some rare instances, I may pop a small dose in pill form if I need to perform my absolute best. I’m not against the idea of using any drugs (I think psilocybin should be be de-criminalized); I just don’t want to create a habit.

#15 - Saying no to video games: When I turned 20, I spent my savings on a computer that I custom-assembled for the sole purpose of being a souped-up gaming machine. When the fans finally began whirring as it booted up, I was giddy with excitement about all of the Call of Duty and Assassin’s Creed that I’d be playing. I imagined all of the upcoming late nights spent leveling up my character until I reached the end of a story, at which point I’d begin a new game, repeating the process over and over again. My excitement slowly turned to despair: I thought about the countless hours not going on dates with girls, not learning something new, and not hitting the gym. Before I even finished installing the OS, I vowed to never play any video games.

#16 - Tracking my life: As my fitness goals became more complex, I began to log my workouts daily. I expanded my recordings to also note how I felt physically during each session, which eventually evolved into documenting how I felt mentally as well. I noticed that the amount of sleep I got played a huge role in my performance and my mood, so I tracked that too. This progression of tracking my physical, then mental, and finally my sleep quality happened via trial and error over many years. I stuck with the habit because of how valuable it was for spotting trends and also making every day felt like it counted. For all of 2013, I recorded a second of video every day as part of a similar effort to try and make the most of my year. For many of my friends, it seems during the pandemic that each day would bleed into the next in a smear of monotony. I too felt some of that, but my habit of journaling each night helped a lot. Here’s a template of my log on Airtable (you’ll have to make a free account). Also, I use the Oura ring to help monitor sleep quality (reimbursed by my health insurance).

#17 - Getting Lasik: I remember the first time I tried on glasses as a kid and immediately feeling like I had superpowers; it was like switching the world into HD. When my vision finally stabilized in my mid-20s, I didn’t think twice about the corrective eye surgery. Glasses were uncomfortable and easily fogged, while contacts were prone to get dirty when camping. Being dependent on something that could easily break or get lost was a liability. I’m also a fan of reducing my “surface area of responsibility.” Having one fewer thing to worry about every day for the rest of my life is a win.

#18 - Cutting out alcohol: I’ll try not to be too preachy, but I lost interest in drinking once I started to save money; it was just the easiest thing to cut out. Eventually, I cut it out for my health. I never liked the feeling of waking up after a poor night’s sleep and knowing that my recovery was stunted. I saw the indulgence as counter-productive to my fitness goals which were intended to make my big mountain dreams a reality. I may enjoy a cocktail on a rare occasion, but it’s always a very thoughtful decision.

RELATIONSHIPS

#19- Long distance with Leah: For the entirety of my relationship with Leah, we’ve been long-distance. I knew it would be a challenge having to commute from New York to D.C. every few weeks, but I came to the conclusion that she was special and would be worth every crowded, five-hour bus ride I had to endure. I knew my criteria for a partner was someone who was curious and smart, sought out a life more adventurous, and could help me become a better person. I made the right choice with Leah, and being physically apart has forced us to rely heavily on honest and frequent communication. To this day, the longest we’ve ever spent together was a two-week trip to Chilean Patagonia. After three and a half years, we’ll finally be moving in together and I couldn’t be more excited.

#20 - Opening up to my parents: I grew up in a conservative Muslim family, but by the age of ten I found much of the traditions to be contrived and was simply going through the motions to please my family. I figured I could keep this ruse up for the rest of my life, but in the back of my mind I knew that I’d have to come clean someday. Dating wasn’t something they approved of, so my social life happened in secret while living with them in New York. I had an entirely different identity at home where nothing about the concerts, dates, photography, nightlife, food blogging, friends, or adventures outdoors existed. I would sometimes look with envy at friends who spoke to their families openly about relationship troubles or went out for drinks. They didn’t carry the weight of shouldering two diametrically opposed identities. In my mid-20s, I told them that I wasn’t a practicing Muslim. To say it shook the foundation of their universe is putting it lightly. They eventually normalized to that realization, and I rocked their world again years later when I told them how I was serious about Leah. In the end, it all worked out as well as I could’ve hoped for.

#21 - Buying my dad a car: I’m not sure why, but I always wanted to buy my father a car. The family car was the largest single purchase he’d ever make, so there was something meaningful to me about handling that for him one day. More important to me was checking this box off before I’d get myself one. My father never expected it and I knew that it’d be something that I’d be proud of for the rest of my life, as would he.

#22 - Having a bro circle of trust: I’ve worked for years on cultivating close relationships with several of my dude friends. I had a suspicion that that the older I got, the harder it might be to create a bond with another guy because of silly expectations on gender norms. I feel lucky to have guys who I can talk to when I felt down about something or needed a second opinion from someone other than Leah.

#23 - Having Ben as a friend: Of all the friends I’ve had, my longest and deepest relationship has been with Ben. We first met at Citymaps nearly a decade ago when I was looking for someone to train with ahead of a Tough Mudder. We started to hang out more and had the same taste in restaurant dishes (a preference for the spicy option), an equal sense of humor, enthusiasm for live performances, and a shared spirit for aggressively adventuring into unknown scenarios and just figuring it out. I took my first road trip with him to New Orleans and later around the West Coast, where I learned we also had the same approach to traveling. We’ve made many stupid decisions together and have countless stories to laugh and cringe over. I’ve known him for my entire adult life and can undoubtedly say it’s been all the better because of that bond. Friends like that are hard to find, so if you’ve got a Ben in your life keep em close.

#24 - Finding the climbing community: In addition to being a guiding compass for life, having a clear identity also helps with more easily finding “your kind of people.” Fortunately for me, the climbing community is a open-hearted and shares many of the same life values I do. I know that almost wherever I live, I’ll have a good shot at immersing myself into a group that resonates with me.

PERSPECTIVES

#25 - My own work-life balancing act: After getting clarity in on what gave me joy in life, I shifted my mindset on paid work. I embraced the belief that I was at a job for the sole purpose of funding my lifestyle. For example, if a new project demanded an additional hour of my free time, it was very unlikely to be worth any additional compensation I could expect to get. I also saw that didn’t need much to thrive if I kept to a simple lifestyle. As a result, I stopped caring about promotions, refused to let office pressure enter my personal headspace, and no longer defined myself by the work I did. This doesn’t mean I slack off on the clock; it just means that if I do choose to work overtime it’s because I’m passionate about the task and am genuinely curious.

#26 - Re-calibrating my image: Once I started to adventure outdoors, I cared less about how I’d present myself to others. Favoring fashion over function seemed absurd, whereas years ago I bought heavily into the notion that “the clothes make the man.” It all seems so wasteful and superficial now. The truth is that no one cared as much as I did about my own appearance; they were all too busy worrying about themselves.

#27 - Dinners with strangers: When my food blog was in its infancy, I drafted up an ambitious plan one summer to eat at as many restaurants as possible from my personal list. To make this feasible, I had to make dinner plans every single night. My friends weren’t the most reliable bunch and could be a wrench in my process, sometimes not ordering the dishes I wanted to write about. I decided to try my luck with Reddit’s r/NYC community with it’s nearly quarter-million members. I asked if anyone would be interested in meeting a 20-year old exploring the city through food. The response was overwhelming. I spent several hours arranging schedules and even turning people away, responding that I was booked for the month of July but had some openings in August. It felt odd, but the entire experiment was unusual. I met with a broad range of folks: slightly more women than men, some great conversationalists and others not so much, some of whom were interns visiting for the first time while others were natives who had even seen the first ever Ramones concert. I insisted on 1-on-1 dates instead of a group setting. What I learned that summer from dining with 50-60 people was that if I dug deep enough, there was a spark of something interesting about every single person no matter how awkward or different they were from me. I made it my mission each night to find out what was special about the person seated across the table from me. It was also a great exercise in having to re-introduce myself over and over again; I became fluent in articulating who I was and why they might care. My only regret is that I wasn’t yet comfortable with my writing to document those moments. In my last year being in New York City, I would have considered doing this again if not for the coronavirus.

#28 - Comfort with discomfort: Much of what I do during my free time is engage in stressful activities (climbing outside, endurance cycling, etc). No matter how much I practice it always is just as taxing as the last time, since I push the envelope a little bit further each time I reach a plateau. This is the opposite of how most people spend their weekends and certainly not how they spend their vacations. My idea of fun has always been to challenge myself and discover new levels of strength within. I’m by no means an adrenaline junkie (I really hate that term). Every risk taken is a calculated risk. I do all of this because of my core beliefs: growth only occurs outside of your comfort zone and personal growth is always more satisfying in the long run (relative to lounging in a hammock while someone else serves you a Mai Tai). This style of thinking has helped me get through many difficult moments in my personal life and in my career.

#29 - Growing up with less: When my family immigrated to the United States in 1990, they came with nothing but a bundle of clothes and the phone number of a distant relative. We lived for 4 years in an illegal basement unit, crammed to the brim with four or five roommates who slept on the couches we dragged off the street. Dinners were served on paper party plates, wiped down and reused until they fell apart. Every penny was precious, so it was expected that I’d wear my older sister’s clothes until at least the first grade. Like most kids with similar backgrounds, the value of money was deeply embedded in the way I saw the world and my future in it. It forced me to try harder at school. There was no way I could ever work a manual labor job like my parents did. I had to overcompensate for having parents whose education was limited, who were unable to help with homework, or could have thoughtful conversations with teachers about me. It all forced me to grow up fast and take greater responsibility. It also stifled me: the idea of paying a fortune to study abroad or dream about working in creative fields that didn’t pay top dollar was out of the question. Despite that, I’m grateful for the perspective it’s given me on what I have today and others in similar situations.

#30 - Graduating without debt: I remember feeling deeply ashamed that I wouldn’t be joining my friends in college. They were going far away to brand name schools, living in dorms and participating in the classic university experience. I’d be stuck in New York for at least four more years, commuting an hour each way to The City College of New York. While it’s hard for any 18-year old to understand the magnitude of absorbing six-figure debt, I did have some appreciation for tuition being essentially be free for me thanks to financial aid. Despite that, for years after graduating I’d dread the inevitable question at parties: “so, where’d you study?” Just like in my youth, I felt the need to overcompensate by outperforming those around me. It’d be years before I’d stop caring and finally be proud of what I had accomplished. In hindsight, I’m grateful for the opportunities presented to me in college and how I seized upon them. When I think of friends who will be on paying off student loans well into their 40s, I can’t help but feel relieved at my choice so many years ago.

It’s been a great 30 years! Would love to hear if you’ve enjoyed this digest. Feel free to let me know in the comments below what you’d consider your best things.